As someone who occasionally reviews games for a website that often reviews games, I probably shouldn’t say this, but… my favorite game reviews are on Steam, written by gamers. I’m specifically referring to a certain type of game review that usually comes in the form of one or two sentences, followed by a score. And that score is always “10/10”.
You probably know these reviews: they usually describe some kind of weird or funny popup behavior. For example, a review of Far Cry 5 that says something like “Went fishing, was attacked by enemy soldier but killed by bear, shot bear but mauled by mountain lion. 10/10.” Or sometimes it’s simpler, like an Elden Ring review saying “I’ll let Malenia step on me again – 10/10”.
with dwarf fortress (opens in a new tab) finally releasing on steam today i went to check out the dive because if ever there was a game with strange popup behavior and the fans who love him, it’s DF. And he did not disappoint me. Here are some 10/10 reviews (and some with much higher scores) that I found in just a couple of minutes on Steam.
Miguel (opens in a new tab): “He started a beautiful fortress, built on the side of a mountain, next to a river teeming with fish. Immigrants rallied, trade was booming, and two immigrant boys jumped into the river and drowned. They returned as ghosts and proceeded to decapitate the other members of the fortress. 10/10”
random (opens in a new tab): “Lost half my dwarves to dehydration, turned their bones into trade goods. 10/10 would be haunted again.”
the krut: “10/10 would see Urist McWoodcutter get crushed by a falling tree again”
marcus:”I finished the tutorial and my fortress was flooded almost immediately killing almost everyone 10/10 GOTY/decade”
spankleford:”Two dwarves drowned and were not found for several months, a yak was imprisoned, and a goat vomited everywhere outside while my fortress was slowly being swallowed by the miasma. Rimworld wishes it were that foolish. 10/15 DF is actually a lot of fun.”
Injury: “The alligators ended everything much sooner than anyone expected 10/10 GOTY”
Platform: “10/10, I would die from zombie carps again.”
vesperus: “One of my miners got into a fight with a kitten and had to be hospitalized, then my midget chief medic died in a mining incident and the miner died of dehydration 10/11”
tugun jr.:”I’ve been playing for a while and finally got it on Steam. I started a ship by a river and my miner came up and drowned without me noticing for the first few minutes until I saw the dwarves were horrified. 10/11 it would be embarking again”.
frozen screams: “FEAR THE CROCODILE MEN! THEY SHOW NO REMORSE! 10/10 YOU WILL BE EATEN AGAIN”
proctorg76:”I haven’t even finished worldgen yet, thanks to the new historical events livestream, it’s the year 417 and I’m watching two civilizations called The Playful Flute and The Curled Nuts rampage across the entire world and start a cold war between yeah.. 10/10 GOTY.”
i’m a fucking elf: “I just flooded my first fortress because I dug through a frozen river without realizing it, until it thawed. 10/10 would drown in freezing water again.”
Legion: “Первая же крепость была уничтожена стаей гиганениоских Орлов ещё до прихода первого пополненениоския 10”
(Via Google translation: “The first fortress was destroyed by a flock of giant eagles even before the arrival of the first replenishment. Only 10/10.”)
FlatBoulders: “You can set pets on fire…it’s a 10/10.”
To wrap things up, there’s even a negative review, unhappy with the Steam overlay. The score is still surprisingly high:
TommyTwice: “¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡ ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡
